The real problem? Not being clear enough.
Many of my clients come to coaching because they feel stuck. They want more from their teams, but worry about sounding pushy or aggressive. That fear holds them back from asking for what they need.
Assertiveness is misunderstood. Some think it means being loud, forceful, or harsh. Others avoid it, hoping to keep the peace. In truth, assertiveness is about clarity. It is about expressing your needs, while respecting others.
Leaders can choose a style that matches who they are. Assertiveness and vulnerability can work together. Authenticity is not lost when you speak up. It grows.
I am deepening my own learning in this area. I am attending a course at Being Profile to support my clients with emotional clarity and better definitions of assertiveness. The research shows that clear communication builds trust, safety, and results.
One common coaching example: A leader feels their team is not meeting deadlines. They want to say something, but fear sounding demanding. Through coaching, we practice:
– Naming the need: “I need updates by Friday to keep our projects on track.”
– Inviting dialogue: “How can we make this work for everyone?”
– Staying open: “I want us to succeed together.”
The shift is simple. From silence and frustration to clarity and connection. The team responds, not with resistance, but with engagement.
Leadership is not about being ‘too much.’ It is about being clear, honest, and true to yourself. That is where trust begins.
How do you define assertiveness in your leadership? How will you set your tone of voice and accept your authentic way of leading?
